Remember high school Spanish? ¿Cómo estás? it stuck in your head like asking directions to the library. As a güero, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Fast forward. We lived in Colorado for a dozen years and my kids were brought up there. The next door neighbors moved away and a family from South America moved in. They were incredibly sweet people. They were gentle and generous. They invited us to share in their celebrations and you haven’t tasted mole until the abuela next door makes you hers. They were great neighbors and didn’t speak a lick of English. All I had was: ¿Cómo estás? I didn’t speak a lick of Spanish.

Fast forward – I was on a train ride from Maryland to West Virginia and sat down next to the most amazing dude. He was one of those humans who was radiant; he had this great vibe. Soon, we started a conversation only to discover that he was a prize fighter. He had gone toe to toe with the great Julio Cesar Chavez! As I recall the train ride was 3 hours long and I spent the entire ride listening to his story. I was totally and joyfully engaged. I wish I could tell you I remembered his name, but alas I don’t. I do remember that he didn’t speak a lick of English. You already know about my Spanish.

Fast forward. I lived in Santa Barbara for a couple of years with a friend who was a musician. He was a classically trained violinist and singer, but somehow found himself playing with a with an amazing quartet called: Luna Gitana. It was this strange fusion of Salsa, Jazz, Opera and Tango. Whenever they would meet, they would say: ¿Cómo estamos? which translates as “How are we?”

It stuck with me and I always say ¿Cómo estamos? . Think about it. “How are ya?” always solicits the response: “Fine, you?”, but asking “How are we?” is a much more important question, even if you don’t speak a lick of Spanish or a lick of English.