“Tell me about yourself” is an interview question. Here’s a better one: “What’s it like to be you?” The first one has a simple answer, “Well, I like long walks on the beach…” The second question is one we don’t ponder, much less ask.

It’s almost a question that words can’t answer. You could create a collage of pictures from your childhood through the present day, but even that would be insufficient. And while we shouldn’t attempt to answer about ourselves lest all of creation unravel; perhaps it is a question we should ask about others. I answered the question last night when I rolled over and found my wife next to me watching TV at 2am. I didn’t ask her, but got part of the answer just in the observation. I could have asked: “Are you OK?” instead, I felt a little of what it is like to be her. She lives with insomnia and physical pain that keeps her awake at night. I rolled over and went to sleep, because I can.

This morning I asked the cat the same question in my head and that led me to question the nature of consciousness. What is it like to be her? To be a cat? Silly I know. Then I started asking the question about my closest relatives. I realized I didn’t know the answer to that either. It is an unvoiced question that is the genesis of empathy, perhaps even for those who don’t display empathy, it is a gateway question.

We remember the golden rule. But how can we know the answer without asking the question: “What’s it like to be you?”

“Tell me about yourself” is an interview question. Here’s a better one: “What’s it like to be you?” The first one has a simple answer, “Well, I like long walks on the beach…” The second question is one we don’t ponder, much less ask.

It’s almost a question that words can’t answer. You could create a collage of pictures from your childhood through the present day, but even that would be insufficient. And while we shouldn’t attempt to answer about ourselves lest all of creation unravel; perhaps it is a question we should ask about others. I answered the question last night when I rolled over and found my wife next to me watching TV at 2am. I didn’t ask her, but got part of the answer just in the observation. I could have asked: “Are you OK?” instead, I felt a little of what it is like to be her. She lives with insomnia and physical pain that keeps her awake at night. I rolled over and went to sleep, because I can.

This morning I asked the cat the same question in my head and that led me to question the nature of consciousness. What is it like to be her? To be a cat? Silly I know. Then I started asking the question about my closest relatives. I realized I didn’t know the answer to that either. It is an unvoiced question that is the genesis of empathy, perhaps even for those who don’t display empathy, it is a gateway question.