Ever slam your finger in a drawer? Aside from this being a very painful thing to do, it leaves you with clear evidence of the injury. Oh, look…..you slammed your finger in a drawer! Jeez, that’s gotta hurt. But what if at that very same moment, when you slammed the drawer, a huge piece of ceiling came crashing down on your head. Well, now things are a mite more complex. Yes, we can see you fucked up your finger but we cant quite figure out why you are unconscious as well. Hmmmmmm, let us get back to you on that. But what if in that insane sequence of events, not only did you slam your finger and sustain a TBI, but the wires hanging down from the hole in the ceiling just happened to arc across your body causing severe damage to your heart? You call 911 and they take you to the ER. With smoke still rising off your body and the smell of ozone filling the room, the ER doc gives you the definitive diagnosis: “Wow, looks like you really slammed your finger in a drawer.”

So yea, I’ll have the combo plate. Mine consists of a serious case of PTSD that causes unpredictable episodes of rage and aggression, combined with the effects of a stroke which have fucked up both my short term and long term memory and now they’re pointing fingers and dementia or Alzheimer’s. The trifecta.

I will gladly go slam my finger in the drawer if somebody thinks that will help.